i judge you, you judge me

My least favorite word in the English language is judge. i hate it. i am burned out with hearing people accuse others of judging.

Here is my theory, because i know all of you want to know.

i will be the first to admit that i think people are judging me. "oh no, did they hear my kid throw that huge fit?" "That person is looking at me that way because i ordered a diet Pepsi" "My hair is a mess and i haven't combed Chloe's hair in a week, they must think i am a slob!" "When they came to my house it was right as my kids were chaotically screaming and the entire house was a mess, what must they think of me!!!!"

Here is what in reality they are probably thinking, "............." which is basically nothing with regards to me. Do i really think i am that important of a person that everyone is paying attention to what i do? i try not to be narcissistic, but maybe i am.

Now i do believe that every day we need to make judgment calls. Should i let my kids play at certain friend's houses, which school should they go to, do i let them play video games all day, do i let them watch certain things on TV, do i take certain classes in school, who do i trust?

it is hard when people you love make decisions that you disagree with. But, there is a huge difference between not liking their decisions and judging and not accepting them.

Also, i honestly believe that sometimes people protest too much. There are those who go on and on about how people are judging them and how great the world would be if no one judged others. in reality unless you are the most powerful/important person in the world, most people are not paying enough attention to your actions to judge you. Are you protesting so much because you are insecure in your decisions? if you truly feel you have done what is right for you than you have no reason what so ever to assume that others are judging you. Also, if you are truly secure you won't worry about those that might. i believe that most people are just doing the best that they can with the life and trials that they have been given, and that they don't have the time or energy to focus on you and your life.

Now, there are those that judge you. For example i accidentally pulled out in front of an older woman on my way home today because there were several semis in my line of sight. it was seriously the funniest part of my day when she turned to me and started shaking her finger at me yelling, which i could not hear because my window was rolled up. Obviously she judged me for being a bad driver, who knows maybe i am, but what she didn't realize was that it was simply an accident. i say that those that judge you are not worth your time or energy. They are definitely not worth crying over it and telling the whole world that you are being wronged because someone somewhere judged you.

For those in my life, i am sorry if you have ever felt judged by me. it was not my intention and i care for all of you and only want you to be happy and successful in your lives. Besides, i am far from perfect and live every day by the skin of my teeth in one way or another, so the last thing i have time for is wasting energy judging. i have also learned that things you say, such as "my kid will never do X" will always come back to haunt you.

its karma baby.

(Please excuse the lower case i's. About 2 years ago Elijah thought it would be helpful to wash my laptop with soap, luckily it recovered, all except the i key, so now when i type i use copy and paste for my i's. i have become surprisingly quick at it.)